It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

The lead up feels good but the day it's here I want to kill all these fuckers painfully. The food the shopping the parties its this big lead up to two days in the calendar. It's also an invasion of more family than I can take and I need to learn meditation or some shit to drown out their voices. I am the grinch.
Then they all shut up and for a moment it's nice an I realize that they're family and I do love them despite it all... Then they start talking again. Fml

Nobody loves me and neither do I

This bitch

Ahhh M Kerr, you hot piece of ass. You see not only is this lady as poised, and sweet as hell, she also looks amazing on a runway, pregnant. She is also David Jones' fashion ambassador ooohhh maybe I'll get to meet her if I get the fucking job. 

Yesterday I had my group interview, not only did it bore the titties off me but it also made me realize that maybe I don't want to work in a department store anymore, maybe I want to try a small boutique. The thing about David Jones is Christmas. Yeah okay I know I should be a little bit more of an adult about this, but if you live in Australia I don't think you can argue that Christmas at this store is pretty much amazing. Even though its normally a scorching 38 degrees outside, the atmosphere inside makes you feel warm in all the right ways. Its the same thing with Myer, the Christmas windows

were a favorite part of my childhood adventure days in the city with my mum and still, even yesterday after I had finished my interview, I went and stood and watched them. Its unlike anything else. So you see, the thing about working in a small boutique is that they tend to forget about christmas, and no matter how old I am or where I may be in life it will always be my favorite time of the year. So deck the halls with bells of holly and get into the god damn spirit. Go down to a department store and soak it up, tell people you love them, buy presents, spend time with your family and appreciate how lucky you are. So what, I'm sentimental, get over it. 

One day, this is what my house will look like.

To me, it's always been about the chase no matter what. As soon as feelings are in the picture my first instinct is to bolt and never look back and for the longest time I have been more than okay with that. In fact I have been an advocate for running away. 

Maybe what scares me so much is that this one person will get to know me, like I know me and thats slightly worrying. I'm not trying to say that I'm some psycho path but still. 

Now that I have finished school I have so much more time on my hands and need something to occupy myself with thats why 'he' doesn't seem so bad anymore, that or I'm just growing up. 

hmmm..

I want another tattoo. I love my first one (peacock feather) But my next one will be the peace symbol (very small) on the upper nape of my neck...hmm.